After hanging out with lots of female friends, I began to understand that many women believe that an average man cheats and enjoys doing it. Contrary to this belief, many men do regret cheating and the reason they cheat is as tangled as a spider’s web. Because, it can range from factors such as insecurity, immaturity, unrealistic expectations about a relationship, anger and revenge mixed with a lot of other circumstance.
First of all, before we talk about why lots of men cheat, we have to understand the different types of cheating, because cheating isn’t necessarily limited to sexual contact or connecting physically. A man can cheat physically (having any form of sexual contact with a woman outside his relationship like a one night stand with a co-worker or random chick at the bar) or emotionally (being invested affectionately in another woman without having sex with her). An example of emotional infidelity could include showing more affection towards another person which many of the time leads back to sexual infidelity. Now that we have a clear understanding of cheating, why do men cheat?
Sometimes it’s all about ego
Lots of men sometimes cheat on their partner to boost their ego and not necessarily to hurt their partner. In psychology, the ego operates on the reality principle which gives a person a sense of self importance. For instance, a guy who is in a relationship cheats on his girlfriend because his friends will praise him as a “sharp guy” and he thinks that more women will find him sexually attractive. All this coupled together makes cheating an enjoyable thrill for him.
He’s a product of his environment and poor role modelling
Over the last centuries, a lot of psychologists argued the topic “nature vs nurture“, which looks at human behaviour from two dimensions, which is genetic (nature) and environmental (nurture). In recent times, psychologists over the world have come to understand that human behaviour is as a result of both nature and nurture. This is to say that men who cheat are made and not born.
Have you ever wondered why you sometimes behave similar to your siblings, friend or vice versa? Well, it’s because when people become familiar and close with each other for a long period they begin to exhibit some similar behaviour through learning which is done unconsciously. This is called observational learning (learning through watching others). A man who has friends that cheat on their partners and comes from a polygamous home is more likely to enjoy cheating because he sees it as a norm. It’s been subconsciously wired into his brain “my father had many wife’s and my friends cheat so I guess it’s cool.
The sex is just too boring
Surprise surprise, as ridiculous or plain simple as it sounds, men cheat because they feel the sex is just too boring. When sex becomes routine and patterned, many men become bored and seek for fun outside the relationship. I once had a friend who complained about his girlfriend saying she was too lazy and anytime they had sex, she literally sleeps like a log of wood and doesn’t allow him try different positions. To cut the story short, after sometime he cheated on her.
He feels sexually and emotionally deprived so his happy getting it from the girl next door
A lot of research has shown that women cheat because they feel emotionally deprived, and men because they feel sexually deprived.
While this is true, men also have emotional needs like being able to have conversations with their partner, receiving praises and affection, laughing and having fun together. So when this things are lacking and he also is not getting his sexual needs met, he might begin to enjoy spending time with other women who show love and affection towards him and satisfy his needs. Since the wife is not talking, either by design not to rock the boat or truly because she is not in the know, the cheating game continues.
That’s all, I hope this article helped you learn some cool things about why men lots of men cheat. You may also want to check out Why Your Dating Never Works Out The Way You Planned.