Yesterday I had a chat with a female friend of mine and she told me about her friend who liked a guy but was terrified to ask him out. Now this got me thinking about a girl I once had feelings for, but never told her because I was scared of being rejected.
We all know that there’s nothing that hurts a man’s ego more than being rejected by a woman whether the man loves her genuinely, or just wants to have fun with her. Everyone has been conditioned to believe through observational learning.
We have seen it on multiple occasions from people around us and in telenovelas we watch on TV, which all depicts men asking women out and not vice versa. And even when it happens the other way around,the relationship never really works out or worse the guy doesn’t like the girl and he just takes her for granted, because the idea lots of people have about a woman who asks a guy out is that she is cheap.
Now here are some interesting facts about when a lady decides to ask a guy out.
Asking a guy out doesn’t make him like you more and his feelings might not change anytime soon
So be sure he likes you already because it is quite difficult to change how a guy feels about a woman. Now I hope that doesn’t come as a surprise to you because unlike women who have what I like to call the red push button, men are just more hard wired and difficult to sway.
We all know that when a guy asks a girl out, she will most likely play hard to get and then give in after sometime if she likes the guy, and even if she doesn’t like the guy and he his persistent enough patient shows affection and care toward her, after sometime there is a very high probability of her liking the guy back and accepting to be in a relationship with him. (quite simple, isn’t it?)
Now when the case is reversed, and a girl asks a guy out, he is most likely going to agree if he already likes you and thank his God, because you just saved him a lot of stress. But if he doesn’t really like you, then I’m sorry but you’ve got to find another bus to hop in or you’ll get hurt because it’s almost impossible to change his feelings.
A man likes what he likes
I was told a joke recently about a man who had 3 girlfriend and was confused on who to marry, so he gave them a test by giving each woman a gift of 5000 dollars and watches to see what they will do with it. By the way 5000 dollars is approximately 1.8 million naira, I had to do the conversion because not everyone is as bright as myself in maths. 🙂
Now going back to the joke, the first lady does a total make over in a fancy beauty saloon, buys new clothes and dressed up nicely for the man. She tells him she has done all this to look nice for him because she loves him and the man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him some new gizmos for his computer and some expensive clothes. As she presents this gifts to him, she tells him she has spent all the money on him because she loves him and the man is impressed.
Now the third invests hers and later gave back $15000 to the man and tells him she wants to spend her life with him. Logically, you would expect him to choose the third but he didn’t,
he chose the lady with the biggest boobs which brings us to the fact that a guy likes what he likes.
Lots of women think that if you ask a guy out, even if the guy is not showing interest he will like them back later but it’s not really the case. Even if he doesn’t like you and still goes ahead to date you, he will end up with the woman with the big boobs, which isn’t you. So before you ask a guy out be sure he likes you and isn’t seeing someone else except you are cool with “friends with benefit”.
Asking a guy out doesn’t make you cheap.
Many women believe that when they ask a guy out, the guy will see them as cheap and take them for granted
The truth is whether a guy asks you out or vice versa, he can still treat you like trash or worse cheat on you. Now so many women still get treated like trash and cheated on even though the guy was the one who asked them out first.
So it all boils down to the man’s level of maturity, because a guy who sees you as cheap because you asked him out shouldn’t even be someone you should be with in the first place.
Sometimes its better to be straightforward with your intentions
Now it’s okay to drop subtle signs that let’s a guy know you like him but sometimes it could be misinterpreted. He might think you’re just being friendly, probably that’s how you relate with your friends and people you’re familiar with.
In summary, be sure a guy likes you before you ask him out. Even if he says no, its no big deal because this is a risk both men and women have to take when making the first move. Just because women may not be used to the ‘rejection’ does not mean they shouldn’t express how they feel.
I hope you enjoyed this article. You may also want to check out Can Sex Tell When To Stop Dating?.