Cheating is never really fun for anyone who has experienced it. When you find out your partner is cheating on you, everything you’ve built with that person comes crashing down like an avalanche. You begin to doubt yourself, doubt if the relationship was ever real, was it your fault or were you not good enough? This thought begins to take a toll on you and bruise your ego which makes you begin to build a wall around yourself and make it difficult for others to bond with you. Even when you are able to settle things amicably with your cheating partner, you might not be able to trust them fully as you used to which might lead to a termination of the relationship because trust is as important as love in a relationship. Below are seven things about cheating you don’t want to hear about.
1. Cheating gap between men and women is becoming more narrow, just that men are more open about it
A report of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University found that, for the first time in modern history, women are cheating at nearly the same rate as men. Another study, published in the National Opinion Research Centre’s 2013 General Social Survey, found that while the percentage of men who admitted to infidelity has held constant over the last two decades, the percentage of wives who reported having affairs rose almost 40 percent(cheating women on the rise).
You might be wondering what caused this shift, before women were likely to stay at home with the kids and if you are home, you have fewer chances of a suitable partner for an affair. But in modern days, cheating has sky rocked in women due to being able to go out and work like men do thereby giving room for social interactions with other men. The internet also has a huge role to play in this current trend because women are able to ignite affairs from the comfort of their homes either emotionally or sexually.
2. Women are more bothered about emotional than sexual cheating
Research in evolutionary psychology has shown that men are more concerned about their partner having sex with someone, and women are more concerned about their partners falling in love with someone else.
3. Cheating is encouraged among men and frowned upon….. women
Men are more open about cheating than women, in fact some men even brags about how many affairs they’ve had. But this behavior is socially frowned upon among women themselves because it is seen as a masculine trait, deviates from societal norms, they are also seen as sluts and thus frowned upon.
4. Most times we have a part to play
Whether we’re the one who’s cheating or being cheated on, we have a role to play in the process. People who cheat usually come up with one excuse or the other to justify why they cheat in the first place which are all traits of being emotionally immature. Because if you do not feel satisfied in a relationship either emotionally or sexually, then talk to your partner about it and if there’s no improvement overtime, you might have to call it a day because the truth is if you don’t cheat at some point, your partner might.
Which will still bring you back to what you initially were avoiding. Also another reason why you’re getting cheated on is because you keep getting into relationships with the same kind of people. Maybe you like bad boys and this type of guys almost always cheats and you still go ahead and date them and later complain they cheated on you when you’re basically on a roller coaster repeating the same cycle over and over again and getting the same result.
5. Cheating might sometimes be a way to sabotage a relationship
Sometimes when you’re in a relationship with someone you’re tired of, you might not know how to go about ending it, or you feel very uncomfortable talking about a breakup with your partner so instead you go for a second option of sabotaging the relationship by cheating while knowing fully well this could lead to a breakup.
6. Just because your partner cheated doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t want the relationship anymore
Being cheated on can be emotionally devastating and makes you wonder if your partner still loved you or still wanted the relationship the same way you did. Well believe it or not if he or she cheated on you, it might not be because they don’t want the relationship anymore, but rather as a result of a myriad of factors like lack of self control, poor communication between both of you or your partner is just promiscuous by nature and at the end of the day it’s all summed up as a mistake.
7. It doesn’t make the relationship stronger because the trust and respect diminishes overtime
People in relationships with partners who cheated on them might probably tell you that coming out of it made their relationship stronger but that’s total bull shit. The reason is once you cheat on someone, two things are lost instantly which is trust and respect and even if it’s not completely lost, it diminishes drastically. This places the whole relationship under a microscope for assessment of continuity or termination.
Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment below if you enjoyed this post, go on to read Can Sex Tell When to Stop Dating in a Relationship?