Getting over someone who you’ve been dating for quite sometime is never easy. I have been there and what I learnt from my experience is that dating someone who’s still into their ex almost always turns out a disaster except in very few cases. Now I know you might be thinking that it doesn’t really matter, he or she will come around at some point and love you but the truth is, that is a long shot.
What people fail to understand sometimes is that one of the reasons people go into a relationship with a potential date is because somewhere at the back of their mind, they want to be happy. Yes, some people will say “relationship is about making sacrifices sometimes for your partner” this is true to some extent. The truth is that no one wants to be in an unhappy relationship, nobody wants to feel insecure about being loved. The uncertainty that the person you love might still be in love with someone else, nobody wants this.
Here are some reasons why I strongly advise against dating someone who’s still into their ex.
You might just be a rebound
Imagine a basketball player who tried to throw a ball into the net and lost his shot. Then out of the blue another player on his team gets the ball and nets it, the player’s goal is referred to as a “rebound goal”. Which means the only reason he scored in the first place was because his teammate lost his shot which makes him the rebound player. This is similar to dating someone who’s still into their ex.
They might be in a relationship with you because they are trying to use you to get over their painful breakup, trying to get back at their ex, or any other reasons. Whether they are doing it for the former or later reason, it still doesn’t change the fact that they’re terrible coping mechanisms. Once the reasons wear off as painkillers often do and the person realises that they are still into their ex after all, it’s GAME OVER for you. They might begin to reach out to their ex or vice versa without your knowledge and one day, they hit you up with the “it’s not working line” or ” it’s me not you” and then you get hurt.
You might be heading for a breakup even before dating begins
Except you’re a therapist, nobody likes to have regular conversations with his or her partners which is centred on their ex. People who are still in love with their ex will always find a way to bring their ex into the conversation even when it’s not necessary, they bring up discussions about how their dating was like. They are usually excited when they hear anything about their ex and may also still be in contact with their them. Though they are aware they still have feelings for them, which might leave you unhappy, jealous or insecure. Unhappy about the relationship with their ex, jealous that she is still in love with her ex and insecure that she might still leave you and go back to him.
Now when you mix this three equations together, you discover that a breakup might just be around the corner because like I said earlier, no one wants to be in an unhappy relationship.
Dating someone who’s still into their ex is a big risk, like an investment that has a 50-50 percent chance of succeeding. To stay on the safe side and prevent your heart from getting broken, you should probably hold off for a while on taking things further (dating) with the person. The reason is that you want to give the person time to heal and to be sure they’re not going back to their ex after their emotional storm.
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