Imagine you’ve been dating someone you love for years, and all of a sudden your relationship with dthis person begins to crumble all around you without being able to do a thing about it. No matter how much you pretend to be fine about it, there is still this emotional pain, sadness and emptiness we feel when we break up with someone we love. People learn to restructure their lives to accommodate their partners so when there is a breakup, the effects are very evident because there were a lot of things you did together and now when you do them alone; it is not much fun as it used to be because they’re no longer part of it. So I am guessing if you’re reading this article, then you or someone close to you is trying to get over an ex.
Accepting the reality
Now I know this might be the most difficult part but it’s the first and the most important, because if you want to forget an ex you’re still in love with, you have to come to terms with the fact that they may never come back again, reason is you don’t want to keep your mind lingering on the imagination of them coming back to you which keeps you from moving on.
Stop all contact with your ex
If you’re trying to get over an ex you still care deeply about, then I’m sure you’ve already reduced physical contact to it minimum, except of course you work in the same office OR you’re neighbours. But I am guessing you forgot to reduce your contact with them over the internet because you’re still checking them out on Instagram and Facebook, reading peoples comments about them and still have old photos of you guys together.
So the question is “what do you think you’re doing?” because you’re obviously not aware that when you do all this things, you’re just opening a wound and pouring salt into it. So what you should do is “scrub your social media clean of any virus that could make your system malfunction”. The beauty about the human brain is that in as much as we remember things, we can also forget them overtime if we’re not reminded about this things. So in essence, get rid of your ex on social media because if you don’t, you’ll never get over them.
You should probably get a life
Like I said earlier, we sometimes structure or restructure our lives to accommodate a relationship with someone. But what happens when the person you love leaves you and you discover there wasn’t even anything to restructure in the first place. You didn’t even have a life before you met them and that everything you did was because of them; you watching their favourite TV show though you don’t like it, and you’re also going swimming when you obviously know you don’t like it but you do go because it reminds you of them and gives you some sort of closure.
If you’re going to move past your ex, then you should spend more time reshaping your life by discovering new things, hobbies and talents about yourself you weren’t aware of. Instead of thinking about your ex constantly, try out new things like meeting new people, writing, music, photography or even sport. The aim is to channel the negative emotions that you feel into something positive by learning to do things that doesn’t involve your ex which will enable you to do without them overtime.
Give it some time
In as much as you have to make some effort to get over an ex, at the end of the day the truth is, time is the ultimate cure for getting over an ex. Some people immediately go into a new relationship with the intention of forgetting their ex, which does work sometimes. The downside to it is that you’re not doing yourself any good because you’re making your happiness dependent on someone else. When you reduce your contact with your ex and involve yourself in other productive things, you give yourself time to heal and get over your ex.